Last fall, I went to New York for a week. The days were packed shows, photo shoots and desperately needed just-sitting-in-the-park-eating-Levain-cookies time — and maybe a second daily trip to Murray’s Bagels. (Salt bagel, I shall return for you, my love.)

I didn’t tell a handful of my friends in the city that I would be there, and I was dreading the stream of messages saying they wanted to hang out or seeing how we could make time. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see them, but like most of my trips, I had so many things I wanted to do in my former home that I couldn’t let a single thing go.

And then, I reminded myself — I’m not on social media. They won’t know if I don’t tell them.

WEIRD.

If you’re not posting pictures of your travels, what are you even doing?

Actually enjoying the company of your friends and family? Eating the beautiful charcuterie platter without the entire world needing to know?

Hey. I worked in national media and was a live producer for food and lifestyle brands, so there’s no shame in that food-stagram game.

But after a while, you wonder what you’re doing it all for.

Who are you affecting?

Why does it matter?

After 6 months of stepping away from social media, I gained some much needed clarity, and maybe, it’ll help you in your journey too.

Creating > Consuming

Before I stepped back from my social channels, creating more than I was consuming was a HUGE reason I needed a break.

As a writer and creative, I find it hard to balance the creation vs consumption for inspiration.

But I knew that I was missing out on making things because I was mindlessly scrolling so much.

In my time away, I found that my morning creation time expanded. Generally, I love to get up early, work out to wake up and then find my way to my computer. But what I wasn’t expecting was how it would make me want to spend more time just being, which is an essential part of creating.

You need white space and freedom to allow new thoughts in, and by not checking Instagram first thing when I woke up, it gave me room to just be with my thoughts instead of worrying or knowing what everyone else was doing.

No Drama

You don’t realize how much drama exists online until you step away from social media.

On the one occasion I had to quickly log in to Facebook for work, I was surprised by a message from an old friend: He had broken up with his girlfriend and wanted to clear the air publicly about what was and was not true with their split. He had sent it two months before I finally read it.

I responded that I hoped all was well, and that I was off of social media, but he had my number if he needed it.

Over the coming months, I had other friends share about feeling left out by friends’ gatherings or by their significant other never posting a picture of them together.

Because I wasn’t looking at anyone’s profiles, I didn’t give a flip who was doing what. And while I can completely empathize with feeling left out, we put so much stock into these profiles or even making public announcements about our personal lives that we forget social media is supposed to connect us and not rip us apart.

Stronger Friendships

Do you ever wonder if you’re really friends with the people you follow online?

Maybe, you would go to coffee with that girl you used to work with, but the only reason why you know anything about what’s happening in her life is because she posts about it. There are no random texts or life news shared between the two of you.

You’re not friends. You’re acquaintances.

And social media has a beautiful way of convincing you that you have more friends than you really do.

For myself, I had to ask who were the people I would call in the middle of the night if something crazy happened (like when a deadly tornado hit Nashville). It’s not that every friendship has to be of constant connection — there are certainly friends who can go ages without talking and pick up like no time had passed. But by and large, I realized I was lying to myself about the value and depth of relationship I had with people I followed online.

What I gained in those months was clarity of who my friends truly are and what kind of friend I want to be with my handful of good friends offline.

More Informed

It’s easy to feel like if you step away from social media that you’ll miss out on all of the news and every funny meme.

My time away only made me more intentional about the information I was seeking out, and truth be told, friends and family texted memes or article links, so it wasn’t a huge change. People would still recommend shows to watch or books to read. If anything, I was able to hear more suggestions because I wasn’t bombarded with so many messages from social media.
And without focusing on so many things I could filter my news sources even more, so I could actually absorb what was happening. I also realized that the fact-checker in me was still Googling specific news stories, so I didn’t need to find information in my social feed anyway.

How I’m Stepping Back into Social Media

To be honest, I had sincere anxiety about coming back. But after a series of natural disasters and then a global pandemic, I knew I needed to return to social media, but I had to figure out how I could so on my terms. And before I could make the jump head-on, I needed to change some things.

Instagram with Intention

As I was contemplating my return, I thought, “I just need some intention with my social media. That’ll make the difference.”

And a light bulb went off that I needed to revisit Hilary Rushford’s program Instagram with Intention. I’ve been a student of hers for a couple years now, and even though I’d gone through IWI previously, I was still completely lost with what I wanted to use my social media for.

I was caught in-between personal and some semi-businessy posts, but I couldn’t quite figure out what I was doing. Like most people, I started my Instagram as a personal profile, but over the years, I saw that it could be a good business tool.

Until recently, I didn’t have clarity about what my business actually was, so that didn’t help. But with IWI, Hilary walks through what your ideal client wants to see, how you can curate a feed that will feel like an invitation inside of your business that feels genuine and how to use that to convert followers into clients and customers. Which, if I’m being honest, is exactly what I wanted.

Business Only

After I revisited the entire Instagram with Intention program, I realized that what made me so anxious about Instagram in the first place was that the lines were blurred between business and personal.

Following random people from high school or who I used to work with years ago wasn’t filling me up with inspiration. It didn’t make Instagram a fun place to hang out.

So, I unfollowed a bunch of people. Hilary also put this thought in my head with one of her podcast episodes about being mindful on Instagram. If I want to use Instagram to grow my business, it needs to be a place of positivity and joy.

And following old acquaintances’ weight loss journeys or endless baby pictures, just wasn’t cutting it. Sorry, not sorry.

I also gained clarity about what I would and would not post and decided to double down on my work as a book coach and creative consultant. Books, book shops, writing inspiration — I finally knew what direction I was headed in and who I needed to serve.

Tracking My Social Media Time

I know. This is the least sexy thing to do, but I knew I needed to do something to help curb a slow fall back into obsession.

Taking and editing pictures, writing captions and then scheduling posts eats up time. Let’s not pretend like it doesn’t.

But if I’m going to use social media for business, it’s important that I track my time, so I know how much energy is going into it. Plus, I’m more mindful about what is and is not essential.

Have you taken a social media break or thinking of stepping away for a while? What’s the one thing that you have or would want to gain from it? Let me know in the comments below.

What I Learned from Stepping Away from Social Media for 6 Months