Why Writers Need to Stop Hiding Behind Screens (And How In-Person Connection Sells Books)

Photo by Elevae Visuals

Here's what I'm realizing as I plan for next year: writers are hiding.

We're hiding behind our newsletters, our Instagram captions, our carefully crafted author platforms. We're optimizing our Substacks, perfecting our bios, and showing up in all the "right" digital spaces. It feels productive. It feels safe.

But if you want to actually sell books—if you want to build the kind of platform that lands you a book deal—you need to stop hiding and start being in the room with people. Here's what we've forgotten as writers: it's different being in someone's inbox than being in the room with them. When someone actually knows you—has spent time with you, has seen how you think and work and show up—they become an advocate in ways no email list can replicate. They become the person who tells their book club about you. Who recommends you to their agent. Who buys copies of your book for everyone they know.

And right now, there's a shift happening. People are tired of screens. In-person events are coming back. Readers want to meet authors. Industry professionals want real connection. Writers who take advantage of this moment—who show up where people actually are—will have an unfair advantage over those of us still hiding behind our content calendars.

The power of one person who actually knows you

It only takes one or two people to really change your life as a writer. Not ten thousand followers. Not a viral post. One person who knows you well enough to champion your work.

When I worked at a children's bookstore years ago, one woman saw how I interacted with her daughter and became my entire marketing campaign—telling every mom in the neighborhood about me. My current day job came through a friend from volunteer work who introduced me to my boss. No resume needed. Earlier this year, after two ghosted emails to a venue, one five-minute in-person conversation opened every door those emails couldn't.

That's the advocacy you can't manufacture online. And for writers, this translates directly to book sales. The neighbor who sees you at the coffee shop every week becomes invested in your success and tells everyone about your book. The person at your local writing group recommends you to their agent. Your book club appearance leads to ten more invitations because people experienced you, not just your author bio.

Your current rooms matter more than the ones you're chasing

In college, a classmate said she needed to be where O Magazine editors were—in different rooms with different people. She was adamant that there was nothing for her in our tiny Bay Area media outlet. I pointed out that she was sitting across from a professor who knew everyone in journalism. Literally. The New York Times. Probably even people at O. We're so busy looking outside our current orbit that we miss the power of the room we're already in.

Jennie Allen talks about this in "Find Your People"—we need people within five miles who can actually show up in person. For writers, your local community is your launchpad. The professional organizations you've joined but haven't engaged with, the local events you keep meaning to attend, the writing groups in your area—these are filled with people who could become your biggest advocates. If you're not maximizing where you currently are, you won't be ready for where you want to go.

You can always go home (but you have to go first)

As an introvert, I get it. Being where the people are is exhausting. But relationship coach Matthew Hussey made himself a rule when traveling: go out for thirty minutes. If you're not enjoying it, you can leave. But you have to go.

That's the commitment for next year. Thirty minutes at that local author event. Thirty minutes at the writing meetup. Thirty minutes at the bookstore reading. You can always leave. But as writers who document experiences, we have to be experiencing things—the conversations, the banter, the observations we'd never get in our regular routine.

How to leverage the IRL shift to sell your books

Start with your five-mile radius. Who's already around you that you haven't fully invested in? Make a list of local events, writing groups, book clubs, or industry meetups that keep appearing in your orbit. Commit to one per month with the thirty-minute rule. Publishers want authors who can show up—to events, to connect with readers, to represent their books well in person. Readers want to feel connected to the authors they read. The writers building successful platforms aren't just the ones with the best content calendars. They're the ones showing up consistently in rooms where real relationships are built.

This isn't about abandoning your online presence—it's about recognizing that your digital work is amplified exponentially when coupled with in-person connection. One person who truly knows you can open more doors than a thousand people who only know your content. I really believe that us being face to face with one another is how we will bridge gaps and succeed in a shorter amount of time than we ever thought possible. The algorithm can't do this work for you. But you can.