The Truth About Day Jobs and Writing (And Why We Need to Talk About Them More)
Photo by Elevae Visuals
Let's talk about the thing we don't talk about enough: how we actually pay our bills while building creative careers.
I've worked at the mall. I've had full-time jobs that had nothing to do with writing. And over the last few years, I've had more and more conversations with friends about this - people who are in the same circles as me, doing the same kinds of work, and feeling like it's a little bit embarrassing when they have to admit they have another job that has nothing to do with writing.
How silly is that? That we have to feel embarrassed about the very thing that makes our creative work possible.
We obsess about the writing and the creative process, but we don't talk enough about how that process actually can happen - and for most of us, that's through money from a day job. Babe Cave is inspired by Virginia Woolf's "A Room of One's Own," especially the line that all a woman needs to write is a little bit of money and a room of one's own.
Here's what changed things for me: I was talking to a friend about six months ago, telling her about a newish day job I had. Part of it was just sharing that same old struggle - grateful for this job, it's full time, I have benefits, that's great. It's not the thing I want to do long term, but it's going to get me to where I need to be. She was struggling with her own stuff, figuring out the direction she wanted to take her business. And she said, "You talking about getting a job makes me feel less weird about getting a job."
Sometimes it takes someone else being honest about their situation to take the stigma away. This is your permission slip to do what you need to do to get the creative writing life you want.
Writers Have Always Been Broke
In Jane Friedman's book "The Business of Being a Writer" (which I recommend for everyone, by the way), she talks about this persistent myth: that once upon a time, writers made all kinds of money, and now they don't. That somehow we're living in uniquely difficult times for creative professionals.
There are some fields where that's more or less true. But speaking generally about how you're paid as a writer? You've really been broke the whole time. There are exceptions, of course - there are always exceptions. But even years ago, centuries ago, writers and poets and painters all had wealthy patrons. They had people who were bankrolling their work, sometimes for political influence or prestige, but always because the work itself wasn't paying enough to live on.
Writers have been broke for a long time. So this idea that your writing is going to sustain you for years consistently? It's a myth. A nice one, maybe, but still a myth.
You have to think about your writing life as a business, because it is one. If you want to write a book, even if you get an advance, that advance is payment for you to write that book. You also have a payment schedule. It's not just "I got a million dollar check and now I don't have to worry about anything anymore." I mean, wouldn't that be nice? But that's not how it works for most of us.
Understanding what the industry actually is - how people are really making money, how people are actually doing things - that's what's helpful. Because sometimes we're so afraid of people finding out our secret that we're not telling anyone we also have a full-time job. Meanwhile, they're looking at you thinking, "Wow, you're so lucky." If you have a book deal or brand partnerships, but we're not talking enough about the specifics, we're all just quietly struggling and assuming everyone else has it figured out.
We don't talk about the specifics because it feels like: "If I also have a day job, that means I'm not a real writer." But I would argue the opposite - if you have a day job and you're still showing up to write? You really are a writer. You're just also a realist.
The Story That Started This Conversation
A few years ago, I tried to take my cookbook coaching business full-time. It looked like I was going to be able to do it, so I quit my day job. This was it, right? The moment I'd been working toward.
It didn't work.
I had a few months of just sheer panic, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I'm pretty scrappy - I was able to put some things together and make some things work. But it was scary in a way that kept me up at night, doing math in my head about bills and groceries and how long my savings would last.
I reached out to a friend. She said, "Come over for dinner. We can talk." And I remembered she'd mentioned something about selling shampoo at some point. She was writing a cookbook and had a part-time job working at the mall. Selling shampoo. Full benefits and paid time off.
"Oh man," I thought. "That's something I could do."
Her work changed my perspective on what I should even be doing.
They were hiring. I applied, and sold the ish out of some shampoo.
Sometimes it takes someone else who we know or respect - someone doing the same thing we're doing, in that same world - and it can take the stigma away. It can take our perceived embarrassment away. This is your permission slip to do what you need to do to get the creative writing life you want.
Making Your Day Job Work FOR You
Here's the thing: everyone has different goals. We all have different things we're aiming for. There isn't a one-size-fits-all for this, which is frustrating because we all want a simple formula, right? Do X, Y, and Z, and boom - creative career achieved.
But I have clients who are like, "I'm not quitting my job. I love writing, and I'm going to figure out how to make that work, but I'm not giving up those benefits." And honestly? That's completely valid. Whether you love your day job or hate your day job, at the end of the day it comes down to figuring out how to make it work for you right now, in this season of your life.
If you have a day job you actually like, you already have some energy toward your work. If you know the benefits of your day job - the benefits of having a steady paycheck and why you're showing up - that creates additional mental space around your schedule. Hopefully you have some kind of control over your time: 30 minutes, an hour a day, whatever it is. You're able to build your writing practice around the life you already have instead of waiting for some mythical "perfect" life to materialize.
What makes it hard is when you don't want to be there. When you're feeling resentful. When you feel like your job is actively standing in the way of your dreams. I've been there, and I get it - I really do. There were days at various jobs where I was like, "Oh my gosh, I can't wait for the day that I don't have to have a boss or I can do things the way that I want."
If you hate your day job, here's what I recommend: look at what kind of benefits you have and figure out how to extract maximum value from them. Do you have a flexible schedule? Is there an opportunity to ask for a certain kind of schedule? Maybe you get to come in later some days, or maybe you work nights and weekends - how can you make that work for your writing life? Is there paid time off? Could you request time for an extended writing retreat? Are there company benefits you could use - tuition reimbursement, professional development funds, anything like that?
You're wildly imaginative - I know you can find solutions to make things work for you. But we also have to remember that nothing is forever. Things are going to change. If you're frustrated about the job you're in right now, remember it's not going to be forever. Even if you have a job you really love, remember it's not going to be forever. Everything shifts eventually.
Maybe you're saving money to hire a writing coach or a publicist for your book. Marketing help. Maybe that money is helping you with just general life admin - someone to clean your house or extra help with your kids or meal prep services or whatever makes your life more manageable. Use that extra money (the money that's not directly associated with writing) to help your writing life, because your art isn't separate from everything else. We can try to make it separate, but you're a whole person. If the creative work is coming from you, then it's also the sum of all the things coming to you.
The 30-Minute Practice
Right now, I have a day job. I'm building my coaching business. I'm writing a novel. And I try to take as many decisions out of my day as possible, because decision fatigue is such a huge thing. It really messes us up, especially if we have a day job that takes up so many hours. It feels like there's not enough time to fit everything in, and then we're paralyzed by all the tiny decisions we have to make about what to do with the scraps of time we do have.
So here are some things I do: I have a workout plan that I don't have to figure out anything for - I just follow it. I have a morning routine that I'm able to set and mostly forget about. It just runs on autopilot at this point.
And writing? 30 minutes a day. That's what I get myself. That's it.
It's the self-awareness that 30 minutes a day gets me about 500 words, which is my daily word count. There will be a point when I need to spend more time on it - I know that. But right now, with everything else I'm juggling, I just have to do what I can with what I have, then move on. And honestly, knowing I have this 30-minute deadline or time frame - I love a timer, by the way - it feels so freeing. Within these 30 minutes, this is where this thing lives. Then I get to move on to the next thing without guilt.
We have to be less precious with the things we're doing and creating. We have to keep it moving, because small acts of consistency are going to make a big difference over time. And here's what I want you to understand: even if one day you don't have a day job - if one day you're just showing up, writing, speaking, doing all these great, beautiful, glamorous things - there will be other things that try to encroach on your writing time. There will always be something. The demands never actually disappear; they just change form.
So you have to figure out ways now to set yourself up for success. A day job is actually great exercise for learning to work within constraints, for figuring out how to protect your creative time. Think of it as training for the demands of the next level, because when things start going really, really well and you have all these other opportunities to juggle, you'll already know how to do that preparation. You'll already know how to make the most of your time.
Changing the Job Conversation
So here is to making the day job normal. Here's to talking about it openly instead of hiding it like some shameful secret.
Your day job doesn't make you less of a writer. The work you're doing in stolen moments while managing everything else? That's real. That counts. You count.
The shame we carry about needing to pay bills while building creative careers - it's manufactured. We created this hierarchy where "real" creative work exists in some financially independent bubble, completely separate from the messy reality of rent and groceries and health insurance. But that's not how most creative careers work. It's never really been how they work.
Virginia Woolf said all a woman needs to write is "a little bit of money and a room of one's own." That's it. Just money. From wherever you can get it. She didn't say "money from book advances only" or "money from creative work exclusively." Just money. A little bit of money and a space to work.
So stop hiding your day job. Stop apologizing for it. Stop waiting for some magical moment when you'll be a "real" writer because you can pay all your bills from writing alone. Start using your current situation strategically for the creative life you're building right now, today, with what you actually have.
Because that's what this is really about - working with what you have, not what you wish you had.
