self love

How to STFU and Believe in Yourself Again: A Manifesto

Every moment you stay hidden in the shadows is a moment you’re stealing from the world. .png

Somewhere along the way, you let the world tell you who are and who you are not.

There was a moment when someone screamed in your face that you weren’t good enough — that who you are at your core is innately wrong.

So, you covered that “imperfection” up with self-deprecating humor, makeup, obsessive diets and hard-core workouts, and a schedule that was filled, and yet, you weren’t fulfilled.

The hoops just got bigger and bigger and eventually, you weren’t living a life, but rather just jumping from one thing to another.

You believed the lie that if you really did what you were made to do, if you stepped into the authenticity of you, people would run.

You’re too much.

Not enough.

Too fat.

Too skinny.

Not pretty enough.

Just a pretty face.

A tomboy.

So aggressive.

Too passive.

Too talkative.

Too quiet.

Not the marrying kind. 

Only the marrying kind.

A terrible mother.

Just a mother.

A slut.

A prude.


Not good with numbers.

A book-worm.

Too demanding.

A showboat.

A wallflower.

You’re told these things over and over again that you start to believe it.

It’s judgements of others that keeps us still and scared to pursue the dreams we were meant to chase. You stay stuck because of a handful of instances where someone decided to tell you about yourself, and you believed it.

Other people must know your value, your worth, your potential, right?

Wrong, darling. You are so very wrong.

You have walled yourself off from your true self because it’s easier to go along with what the world wants to make you believe you are.

It’s easier to stop:

  • Striving for more than mediocre

  • Trusting the voice within

  • Reaching for the “impossible” dream

  • Believing that you’re meant for a specific purpose

  • Getting your hopes up

But in the all too famous words of Marianne Williamson,

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Every moment you stay hidden in the shadows is a moment you’re stealing from the world. 

So, step forward and claim the space that was made for you.

Push back on the names the world has given and create a new name for yourself.

Leave behind the people holding you back — the ones who are afraid to see you succeed. 

Let love in by loving yourself first. 

Treat yourself with the same kindness you would someone you love.

Imagine the little you — the one who was carefree and confident in who you were with no filter because you didn’t know you should be anything else — and hold onto that feeling.

Release the apologies and excuses that have built up over the years and claim responsibility for yourself.

Take a step towards freedom by — speaking up in a meeting when you normally wouldn’t, telling someone no when you feel like you should say yes, or not trying to fix other people’s burdens.

If there is something you hate about your life, change it or find a way to work with it until you can change it.

You only have one chance in this life, so you better be living the life you want instead of the life other people believe you should live. 

And if people don’t like it, keep it moving.

They weren’t your people anyway.